Exciting development this week – my first bit of publicity, in support of my book coming out soon. I’d given my details to Fertility Network UK back in May when I went to Fertility Fest, saying I’d potentially do interviews with the press. Then out of the blue I got an email saying The Yorkshire Post wanted to talk to me. Was I free the next day? Erm…yes.
So, after a nail biting wait for a phone call and a photographer knocking at my door (eek), all went well. I survived my first interview with a journalist. Being a good comms professional, of course I had my ‘core script’ and ‘lines to take’ at the ready. I made damn sure I didn’t say anything I didn’t want printing, as I do tend to get a bit ‘over-sharey’. Once I’m on a topic I’m passionate about (fertility is one of them) there’s no stopping me. In fact the journalist commented at the end of the phone call, ‘I haven’t had to ask you any more questions as you’ve given me enough’. (Lol) I think all she actually said was ‘Tell me a bit about your situation.’
What I inadvertently did by doing this though, was tell her everything I wanted her to print, without having to answer awkward questions, or reveal things I didn’t want to. I should use this technique again.
The published article is a bit tabloidy and not quite verbatim, but my key messages are in there and I’m over any nervousness about speaking to journos and having my picture in the paper. Here’s what I’ve learned:
When I’m approached by a journalist…
- Find out which publication are they working for – do I want to be associated with it?
- Who are their audience and how big is their reach?
- What’s the focus and title of the article they’re writing? Does this fit with my messages?
If these are a good fit:
- Say yes!
- Visit my core script and work out which key points I can use.
- Write them down.
- Say them out loud.
- Work out what I wouldn’t want printing.
- Don’t say those things – simples!
If you’re interested, here’s a bit of my core script:
The trying / struggling to conceive journey can be a lonely and isolating place. It’s not easy to talk about; people don’t know what to say. If you’re a stressed out parent with a toddler who’s causing havoc in a supermarket, you can exchange wry smiles with other parents, the older generation who’ve been there, or basically anybody else who happens to be around.
Being a parent is hard work, but feeling frustrated because your child won’t put down the bag of sweets and move on to the shampoo aisle or being exasperated because your two year old has just deleted some important files from your laptop which weren’t backed up (yep, this just happened to me), are actually Good Problems to Have. I say this because they’re relatable. You can use them to bond with others, they make good anecdotes and you know that however annoying these things are at the time, you’re blessed to be experiencing them.
Infertility is a Bad Problem to Have. When you’re self-consciously brushing tears from your cheeks, overcome with emotion in the nappy aisle, there’s nobody there rolling their eyes with you or offering an understanding smile. When you have to leave the room because someone has announced their pregnancy and they’ve only been trying a couple of months, you’re pulling yourself together alone in the toilets. This doesn’t make an amusing anecdote in the pub later. It makes people uncomfortable. I want to change that. I want to make it okay to say ‘hey, I’m struggling to get pregnant and it’s tough’ and for people to know what to say back – not ‘relax and it’ll happen when you least expect it’.
Never say that. See my earlier blog post – Let’s talk about trying to conceive.
Fertility problems affect one in eight couples. There’s no shame. If we all spoke out (including to journalists), it might feel just a little less lonely.
Take care.
Tori x
Tori Day 